Memorial Homily
Memorial Homily
Amanda Rose Stuchel
July 19, 2004
Text: St. John 14:1-6
In the Name of God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.
If I am to be honest with you today, I have to confess that I have never found writing a homily so difficult. After all, what do you say when a newborn baby dies? We understand that death comes to all, that it is an inevitable part of the human experience. Everyone dies. And yet there is little that we as human beings encounter that is as mysterious as death. The passing of a person that we love is often the most gut-wrenching thing we will ever experience. This is universal. I’ve seen it every time I have had to do a memorial service. Without fail, we often feel robbed, we feel as if the person was taken from us too soon. And even though we may understand the biological factors that contributed to a person’s death, we ask the existential question, “Why did this happen?”
I wish I had a good answer to that question this morning. I wish that I could explain why God allows tragedy to strike the world, but I have never heard an answer that is really suitable. I remember the day that I first got a message from Kim and Tony about what was going on. It made my heart sink. What a terrible thing to have to deal with! When we were able to arrange some time to spend together, I drove to their home not knowing what to expect. I thought that if I were in their situation, I would have been a wreck. And yet I was greeted by two people who, though they were undoubtedly suffering, were also filled with a presence of calm and peace.
They explained that they had known that Amanda had Potter’s Syndrome for several weeks, and knew that the chances were that they would be planning this memorial service before she was ever born. It made me wonder why they would even have carried her to term. They had an opportunity to terminate the pregnancy, but chose to carry Amanda to term. It was a decision I did not really understand until I stood with Tony in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and looked at Amanda for the first time. What a beautiful child! Once the doctor had confirmed what we had all hoped he wouldn’t have to confirm, Amanda was brought to the labor and delivery room to be with her mom and dad and the friends who had gathered. It was there that she was received into God’s family through the Sacrament of Holy Baptism as Kim held her. I witnessed first hand how much Kim and Tony loved her, even though she was with us for such a short time.
As I was preparing for this day Kim sent me a link to an essay written by a priest who made the statement that love means accepting someone just as they are, regardless of their ability to meet any expectation that we may have of them. Kim and Tony loved Amanda from the day she was conceived, and will continue to hold her in their hearts even now, as she has passed into new life to be with God our Creator.
In our Gospel reading today, the disciples of Jesus had just received shocking news. The 14th chapter comes at a transitional point in the John’s narrative. Jesus has just finished telling the disciples that he is going to be betrayed and must endure great suffering for the sake of the world. Needless to say, this deeply disturbs the disciples. In order to bring them comfort, Jesus explains why he must suffer and die. He tells the disciples that he is not leaving for good, but only for a while, and only so that he may prepare a place for the disciples. He speaks of the many dwelling places in the father’s home where the disciples will be welcomed. The expanse of space that Jesus talks about implies that there is vast room for us to dwell once we die and are united God. In other words, there really is room for all of us in God’s Kingdom.
That is the really wonderful thing about the nature of God. Even in human frailty, God comes to us and claims us as his own. God says that our lives, regardless of how long or short they may be are worthy God’s attention, worthy of God’s grace, worthy of God’s love. And indeed, Amanda lived up to the meaning of her name, which means, “Worthy of Love.”
The good news this morning is that God has prepared a place for us, a place in which we will all be united in the Father’s house. This is our certain hope as followers of Christ. Because we are united through Baptism, our links to one another transcend time and space, and keep us closer to one another than we realize. This morning, even as we mourn the passing of Amanda, let us find solace in God’s promise of grace and eternal life to Amanda and to all of us, and let us remember that in the communion of saints we continue to be part of one another, even though death may seem to separate us. Amen.
Written by Vicar Robb Harrell,