Amanda’s Story

Today in Sunday School we talked about God’s Plan and how people blame bad things that happen in our lives on God.  This is an interesting concept for me and probably anyone who has lost a child or a loved one to tragic circumstances.  I can not in anyway shape or form believe that God would have chosen for me to lose a child.  If I were to believe that then I would have to believe that I had done something to deserve that kind of pain.  And no one deserves that kind of pain!

So no God did not choose for me to lose a child.  No, it does not help if someone tells me it was a part of God’s plan.  No,  it does not help if someone says it was for the Best.  The Best for who?

God did however make sure the right people were in place at the right time in our lives to make the tragic experience of losing a child as tolerable as possible.   From the doctors to church members to family and friends everyone had a part to play in the most tragic experience and most amazing experience of my life so far.

I also never blamed God for what happened. I did go through all of the steps of grief.  Denial, Bargaining, Anger and eventually Acceptance.  However, I was never angry at or blamed God.  I do understand how that happens though.  The need to blame someone is very strong and God is an easy target because he doesn’t fight back.

I believe the strength of my faith before the doctors told us the devastating news that March afternoon is one of the main reasons I can claim that the morning of July 13, 2004 is and will remain one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had.

Kim